Dating before exclusive

28 Dec

Keep it positive So your date wants you and only you… “What your date is really asking is, ‘Are you into this? So if you are, say so before mentioning your reservations, as in “I’m really into this, I just need more time, can you give me that? …But not While these are legitimate curiosities, making your date dish specifics isn’t helpful and if anything, will just breed insecurity.” or “I really want to get to know you better, but it’s just too soon to commit. Do yourself a favor, and don’t turn it into a competition: Your mate is dating you now, and that’s what really matters.

Watch out for: Poor wording or attitude, because people can misinterpret your intentions.

I’d like to.” Express yourself without giving an ultimatum or threatening to leave. But be sure that they’re real before you act on them.

Remember that “no” might mean “not yet.” Watch out for: Bad timing. As New Jersey resident Larry, 37, told me, “You don’t want to come across as overly demanding or overeager.” Of course, if you’re at a point where exclusivity is a requirement, be prepared to move on if your date doesn’t reciprocate the sentiment. Remember that words are the Pandora’s Box of dating. “In a moment of loneliness, I told the guy I was dating that I wanted to be exclusive,” says New Yorker Andrew, 44. But the next day, I felt like I had rushed the decision.” Sample script: Acknowledge the risk by saying, “I am really enjoying this and don’t want to rush, which might put undue pressure on both of us.” Watch out for: Premature commitment!

” Be prepared for either answer If your date isn’t ready to commit, you should tell him or her that you respect that—after all, the whole idea may have caught your sweetie off guard, and you don’t want to punish the person for not immediately going for it.

But this doesn’t mean your nonexclusive status should continue indefinitely.