Dating patient

23 Mar

Within minutes, I received a message from bachelor #1: a 28-year-old Vanderbilt grad with all the charisma of a good Southern gent.

To any wandering eyes, our first date would have appeared to be going well.

As Hippocrates instructs, we have “special obligations to all fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.” But what happens when an oath to the medical profession interferes with the ability to have a successful personal life, including love and relationships?

In an attempt to nurse a broken heart and wounded ego, I gathered my courage, bid farewell to judgment and created an online dating profile.

While a patient won’t likely understand or want to know the process taken to arrive at his or her diagnosis, in personal relationships, each step matters. Thus, when it comes to love, I dare say we must defy Hippocrates and put aside our “special obligations.” We must remember to loosen the white coat and adopt the naivety of that first date when there was no simplifying and no diagnostic inquiries, just butterflies; even if that lasts just long enough to share an occasional glass of wine.

Relationships, unfortunately, are quite the opposite. A partnership based on mutual respect and equality is essential for any love to thrive.To cope with all the hopelessness, bitterness, loneliness, panic, frustration and feelings of failure I was experiencing, I wrote an open letter to my single self.Although I didn’t believe it at the time, I gave myself the most awesome advice. Love is a mystery that you can’t harness or control or elicit or will.There were many low points in my eight years (more or less) as a single person.One in particular was in December of 2010, right around my 32nd birthday.